First and foremost I want her to always be happy. I know this won’t always be the case. I know that I won’t always be able to make her happy, and I know that it’s okay to be sad sometimes. You have to have some bad times to be able to appreciate the good ones. I can only wish that she knows no matter what that I will always be there for her to help her be happy in any way that I can. I want her to know that no matter what happens in life that she can count on me with open arms.
I want her to dream, and dream big. I want her to know that she can be and do anything that she sets her mind to, I don’t ever want her to doubt herself. I don’t want her to let anyone else’s doubts or opinions change her dreams. I want her to know that I will be there to support her in everything she does. To me, it doesn’t matter if she wants to be a doctor (which is what she wants to be right now) or a garbage man or plumber. As long as she’s happy doing it, that’s all I could ever ask for. I don’t want her to doubt herself because she’s a girl.
I want her to always have the imagination that she has now because without it things wouldn’t be nearly as fun as they are now. I don’t want her to worry about what others think of her if she does things differently than someone else. I want her to be her own person and make her own path.
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss
I went with her to her Buddy Day at her pre-school Friday, all the kids were decorating a snowman that they had cut out and glued to a piece of paper. I saw so many parents telling their child how they should be decorating theirs. They were telling them where they should put the buttons and scarf etc etc… Which wasn’t a big deal, but I didn’t want to tell her how she needed to do. She knows how a snowman looks, and she decorated it like a typical snowman. When she was done with that, she kept going and adding what she wanted. It’s easy to try to make things perfect and correct them about the way it should look. It wasn’t mine, though it wasn’t my place to tell her how I would do things or how it should be done. It probably wasn’t “perfect” but at the same time, it was the most perfect snowman ever because she made it exactly how she wanted and wasn’t worried what anyone else might think of it. I’d much rather have her bring me home a picture of a pink cat because she used her imagination.
I want her to be confident. I don’t ever want anyone to make her feel as though she’s not good enough. I want her to always know how beautiful, smart, funny and amazing she is, and if she ever does doubt herself I will be there to remind her. I want her to know how to ignore the negativity and only focus on the positive things.
I wouldn’t say that I have the most confidence, it’s something that I’ve been working my whole life on. I don’t want her to struggle with that. She still might, I have an amazing family that has always encouraged me and told me that I’m good enough. A lot of days I still struggle comparing myself to others. I don’t want her to do that. I want her to know that she has given me so much more confidence than she will ever know. I want to be confident so I can show her how to be.
I want her to exude confidence but not be cocky about it.
I was recently on facebook and there was a video from a non-binary person sharing what it was like to be non-binary. It blew my mind reading all the ignorant insensitive comments. One, in particular, stood out to me.
Instead of trying to understand where this person was coming from and educating themselves that there are different kinds of people out there, they decided to spread hate.
I want my daughter to know that it’s okay to be different, it’s okay to feel different. It’s okay to not know exactly who you are. I’m almost 31 and I still don’t know exactly who I am. I want her to know that no matter who she feels she is, that I will always be there for her. I will always support her. That it doesn’t matter if she’s straight or gay. If she feels more like a girl or a boy. That it won’t change who she is on the inside and that I will love her no matter what.
I want her to know that there are mean people out there. People that won’t always accept who she wants to be. That there will be people out there that try to change her, that will tell her she should dress or act a certain way because she’s a girl. They’ll want her to be what society has dictated she should be. I want her to know that she can say “to hell with them” and be exactly how she wants to me.
I want her to shut that shit down, and never change for anyone but herself.
We all know or at least heard of stories about how a parent/family has turned their back on a loved one because who they
choose to be are. I want her to know that I could and would never do that. Every time I hear someone say they just chose to be gay or trans, or non-binary or whatever else. I want to ask them if they chose to be straight, and if it’s that easy why can’t they just choose to be something else? Even if you don’t understand something it’s not your place to judge someone else for how they want to be.
I don’t understand how a parent can just turn their back on their child.
Most importantly I will spend the rest of my life letting her know how much she is loved and cared for.